How to write your vows

Start taking notes early

It can be overwhelming sitting down and getting in the writing, so as you think of all the things you love about your partner or amazing memories you’ve had together just jot them down. 

*You can start some notes in the note pad section of your phone and as soon as a memory pops up, write it down

Be on the same page

You want your vows to be cohesive with each other’s so it’s a good idea to have a chat about what you both want. Agree on a certain style and tone.

Agreeing on what feel you want for your vows is very important, do you want it balanced? Have a mixture of your true feelings but then also keeping it light-hearted with a bit of fun? Or perhaps short and sweet?

Answer these simple questions together

How long should the vows be?

Do you want to share a personal story or keeping it classic?

Do you want a fun element or keep things sweet and traditional? Or a mixture of both?

Do you want to write your promise together? (Say the same promise)

Structure of your vows

This structure is only a guide, however, you should agree on the same structure as your partner.

Elements to add in to your vows

Option 1).

Start off your vows by saying your partner’s name and what you love about them. This opens your vows to lead into a personal story 

Share a personal story. This can easily set the tone for your vows and is the perfect spot to add in a bit of fun & personality. It could be something as simple as “you knew she was the one when she cooked the perfect steak” or “you knew he was the one when you saw him comforting your children” – you can play on this, make it light-hearted or deep and personal.

(Remember to keep it punchy, you don’t want this part to drag out into a novel. A paragraph or two is good length for a personal story)

What you have overcome or can achieve together. This can remind you just how strong of a couple you are, and even though times may have been tough you’ve overcome so much together. 

Tell your partner that you’ll be there through thick & thin. The reality is that all marriages will have some ups and downs, so a small mention that you’ll be there through it all, will go a long way. You can incorporate this into your promise or keep it separate.

Make a promise. After all, it is a vow, you’re vowing to love, support and be there for one another. 

An option with your promise, is to write it together and say the same promise at the end of your vows, this can make your vows more intimate and personal.

You can also see some promise template on our vow templates page.

Option 2).

Subjects to say

Pick the same subjects as your partner and say them in the same order. Having these prompts will help you with what to write about.

  • How I felt on our first date / meet

  • How I knew you were the one

  • What I love about you

  • What you love about me

  • What makes us laugh together

  • What makes us tick – keep light-hearted

  • Mentioning of our children

  • What I see in our future

  • How I’ll help us get there

  • 1-3 promises

  • Say I LOVE YOU!!

  1. Start from the beginning of your relationship

  2. Share a short anecdote – don’t be afraid to keep it fun!

  3. Finish with promises to your partner

Option 3).

Simple Vow Options

A simple vow option is to each write 3 reasons why you love your partner and 3 promises you make to your partner and your future together.

Ideas / tips

Don’t forget to say “I love you” 

Don’t leave it until last minute, you want to have your vows completed at least 3 weeks before your wedding day.

Have a break with your vows, you don’t have to write them down there & then, come back to them a few days later with a fresh look.

If you think you’re getting too cheesy, just remember that it’s coming from a place of love. These are usually the best parts and the most memorable.

Laughter! That’s what life together is all about, if you make your partner smile during your vows then that will serve you well and sets the tone for the rest of the day

Remember to take your time when reading your vows and live in the moment.

Email them to me to be checked over, here I’ll make sure they match your partners vows and ensure you haven’t missed important elements. I then print these vows on card and bring them to your ceremony to be used in personal vow folders, the cards are then kept by you as a special keepsake.